Kids Left the Nest?

What a Perfect Time to Rev Up Your Romance!

By Dr. Ruth Westheimer

Romance is timeless. Though technology may have changed the process a bit, it still comes down to some simple basics: couples meet, sparks fly; they fall in love and ultimately commit to a life together. At the start of most relationships, romance is unquestionably a top priority! Against all odds, we’ve found “the one” and they occupy a major portion of our thoughts and dreams…and time. Yet as time passes, romantic relationships evolve. Priorities shift and relationships adjust, often growing deeper, more committed and more expressive. Typically, a couple’s early years are consumed by establishing home, finances and career paths. Down the road, primary focus often changes as children arrive, and careers are advanced or adjusted. Factor in saving for college educations and retirement. Distraction is inevitable. Finally, with luck, focus and perseverance, the goals couples have worked toward begin to come into view and gradually time for just each other is once again possible.

Now what?
Unfortunately, all too often, these most intimate of relationships can be unintentionally relegated to a back seat as overwhelming schedules and multiple priorities bully their way into a couple’s lives. Many parents come out of those early years having successfully nurtured their children while neglecting their own relationship. Frankly, many of these folks are simply exhausted! Hectic lifestyles can actually create a bizarre sense of routine -- exhausting perhaps -- but dependable nonetheless. If there’s one thing multi-tasking parents with young children can count on is that they can’t count on much! Their lives are in high-gear at all times! Once children have grown and left home, either for school or career, “empty nest” parents often find themselves living with a distantly familiar stranger. Understandably, couples often find it challenging to shift focus, relax and rekindle romance.

Happily, taking a vacation together is one way to re-energize your relationship and recapture the wonderful connections that brought you together in the first place. By discussing the way you would like to travel, places you both would like to see (and those you’d just as soon skip), and the activities you’d like to pursue, you’ll gain new insight into your partner and be on your way to creating unforgettable memories. A cruise vacation offers a great balance between activity and leisure and provides a setting in which you can really spend quality time together and rediscover yourselves as a two-some.

Where to Go Next
Communication is key, as is a healthy dose of compromise, a mutual sense of purpose and a shared sense of adventure! With your well-established objective – renewing the magic of your relationship – the pieces should begin to fall into place as you discuss your journey together. Speak up! Tell your loved one how important it is to you to reconnect and establish a new romantic rhythm for the exciting years to come. Be realistic when it comes to how much time you want to spend sightseeing and exploring versus relaxing and luxuriating (and of course, cuddling!). Being exhausted while on vacation is not the best way to rekindle romance!

Revel in Renewed Privacy
One of the most positive changes that many couples discover as their relationship matures is the joy of renewed privacy. Think of the fun! With children out of the house, you can stop hiding the more intimate side of your relationship, which may allow your love life to blossom more fully. This can be especially true on a vacation. Experienced cruisers will confirm that shore excursions are not the only opportunity for making amazing discoveries! Family vacations are extremely important and usually more relaxed as the pressures from work dissolve, but having a brood of children along doesn’t do much for the romantic element. Couples whose children are grown can concentrate on each other so that their time away from home becomes an especially fulfilling way to keep the home fires burning.

Keep Conversations Captivating
All couples have a need for stimulation, not just physically but emotionally and intellectually as well. The time when child-care responsibilities start to lessen and “the kids” no longer are the center of your conversation, is the time to do things together that will enliven and deepen your relationship. For example, perhaps you share a love of history. Agree to learn as much as you can about a period, such as the Renaissance and then share your new insights on the topic. Hobbies like this can even allow you to plan for your future. How about a research trip to Florence, where you can explore the streets where the Renaissance first flourished? Cruise vacations offer a host of onboard classes providing endless topics for lively discussion. Courses feature fun and interesting discoveries in art and history, cooking and wine tasting, photography and scrap-booking, and so much more.

Remember. You are in control of where your relationship is heading. Growing older doesn’t need to hold you back. Empty bedrooms can open doors to a world of opportunities and can start you off in some exciting new directions. A romantic cruise vacation can be one of many wonderful new directions in which to take your relationship!