Making Time for Romance

By Dr. Ruth Westheimer

Often people tell me that as the years go by they find that there's just not as much romance in their relationships. They feel their partner has become predictable or just lazy and that the special romantic gestures and celebrations are just memories. They've become busy with children, family work, social obligations and their homes and no longer have time to be spontaneous and romantic. Candelit dinners and flowers are left for special events like birthdays and anniversaries, if that. When I hear this, I tell them that you're never too old to be romantic, to surprise your partner and to instill a little spontaneity in your lives. You just have to be determined, patient and a little creative.

One of the biggest mistakes couples make is to put romance on the back burner, or to save it for a milestone event. Every day a couple spends together is a milestone and should be cherished and celebrated in a small way. Tell your partner that you love them, they look nice or that you appreciate something they've done. You don't need elaborate displays of affection to show how you feel. You also don't need to wait for a milestone event. Gifts, trips and tokens are expected for your anniversary or Valentine's Day. But sometimes the nicest, most romantic gift is the one that's least expected. Getting home early and surprising your spouse with dinner or offering to take care of the kids (or grandkids!) so they can put up their feet and relax with a good book or a movie are wonderful gestures. So is making a reservation at their favorite restaurant and taking them on a random night, for no special reason.

The most important milestones in life are those that are shared together. So take time for romance and make each day memorable and full of romantic moments.