Q&A: Get to Know Alex

Learn How His Experience on “The Bachelor”
Changed His Life and Dating Style

How were you chosen to be the very first "Bachelor"?
Someone in my office forwarded me an email about the search for “The Bachelor.” I think he sent it to me because he thought it was funny, but to me it was no joke! I thought it sounded like a great adventure. The producers wanted someone who was outgoing enough to date 25 women, but romantic enough to choose just one. They also wanted a businessman, an eligible bachelor with a good job. Ultimately I just got lucky, they chose me, and it turned out to be a crazy ride.

Which qualities do you think were your greatest assets on the show?
That’s a tough one. I hope I was able to make the women feel comfortable in a very uncomfortable situation. They all put themselves out there and faced rejection on national television. I was grateful to them for their willingness to go through a difficult process to try to make a love connection.

Also, I think I was able to talk about my feelings in a way that let the viewers really get inside my head and understand what was going on. One reason that the “Bachelor” show has gotten such great ratings is that viewers can totally relate to what happens on the show—good dates, bad dates, awkward moments—we’ve all been there!

Did you discover anything about yourself from this experience that surprised you?
I learned a couple of interesting things. First, I can definitely overanalyze things. I agonized about who to cut and who to keep even early in the process. I spent a few sleepless nights that were probably unnecessary.

Second, I noticed that at first I had a tendency to chase after the women who were playing hard to get. And that’s ultimately not the right way to go. True love requires a real connection. The thrill of the chase can only take you so far. Once the chase is over, what’s important is real compatibility.

How did you handle the fantasy aspect of the show, knowing you were going back to the real world once it was over?
I knew that was a risk, so I made sure to remind the women I was dating that this fantasy experience would eventually come to an end and that some of our future dates would involve beer and pizza instead of champagne and caviar. It was important to me to pick someone who was excited about sharing the mundane aspects of everyday life, not just the life of limousines and TV cameras.

What advice would you give to people who begin a romance while on vacation or in a situation outside their daily life?
This is a really important question. The secret to success in a relationship is making everyday life romantic. Many romances start on vacation, but only some survive the return home. The key is to take advantage of the romantic escape of a vacation to create romantic momentum and special memories, while not losing sight of the fact that the right person is someone you can have fun with anywhere. The best couples learn how to have fun and be romantic while lost in the car or while shopping for groceries. Couples who can infuse romance into everyday life maximize their fun, their happiness, and their closeness.

You experienced some amazing dates on the show. Which was your favorite?
On one date we went skeet shooting off the back of a yacht near Santa Barbara, California. It was a scene right out of “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous!” Another great date was skiing in Lake Tahoe. The views there are unbelievable—as you ski down the slopes you see this big, beautiful, blue jewel of a lake stretched out before you.

If you could choose one romantic destination to take a significant other,
where would it be?
I think the South Pacific would be my destination of choice. It’s beautiful, it’s romantic, it’s a tropical paradise, and most important, it’s halfway around the world, so going there lets you escape completely!

Has your dating style changed since you did the show?
The show helped me learn more about what I was really looking for in a mate. I think I’ve managed to make better decisions in my romantic life since the show.

I think the experience also helped me better understand the way women approach romance, and that has helped me communicate better with women.

And, importantly, my dating style has become much more private since the show! Having romances play out on TV was an interesting adventure, but having real romance unfold in private is the greatest thing in life.

Has being the “Bachelor” made it more difficult to find true love?
Actually, it’s probably made it easier. That said, the fact that I was on the show means that sometimes I have some explaining to do!

What are the your top-three “must haves” in a relationship?
Good communication, mutual support, and chemistry. Good communication involves understanding each other’s perspective. Mutual support creates the feeling that you’re on the same team. And chemistry means that you love to be together and you never get tired of each other.

What did you learn from your experience on the show that you think the new “Bachelors” and “Bachelorettes” could benefit from?
Relax and have fun! The show is every guy’s dream and every guy’s nightmare at the same time. It’s all in how you approach it. It can be a pressure cooker, or it can be a great romantic adventure. The choice is yours. And you only live once (and you definitely only get to be the “Bachelor” once), so you might as well relax and enjoy it.

What keeps you busy these days?
My business life keeps me very busy. I’m working hard, constantly learning and having a great time.

Ok, now let’s have a little fun.
Answer the following questions with the first answer that comes to mind:

Kiss on the first date?
With the right person, absolutely!

Red roses or daisies?
Well, I was definitely sick of roses for a while after the show, but now I like them again, so I’ve got to go with roses on this one!

On your typical date would you rather take her for a romantic candlelit dinner or hot dogs at the ball park?
Both can be a lot of fun, but I’d rather go for a romantic candlelight dinner.

If you could go on a fantasy date today with one celebrity , who would you choose?
Natalie Portman

Bottle of red or bottle of white?
Red.

Love notes or e-mail?
Love notes. They last longer and mean more when they’re written on paper.

Fast or slow dancing?
Slow.

Breakfast in bed or morning jog?
I wish I could say morning jog, but breakfast in bed is more likely!

Big wedding or destination wedding?
A big destination wedding!

Trick question: Honeymoon on a Princess cruise or camping in the woods?
There is only one right answer: Escape Completely with Princes Cruises!